Perfectionist, overachiever, OCD, and so on-
Several names (or diagnoses) that can be tricky to live whether its voluntary or not. Things are tricky and you suddenly realize that people are giving you looks and whispering behind your backs- or even thumping you on the back for a job well done if you're lucky.
As for me?
I don't know if it was the last school year, but I received this several times:
"You're making this harder than it needs to be."
I don't know about you, but that is NOT something I want to be hearing! But nonetheless, I was told this at least 5 times in this year alone. And that is so, so far from comforting.
Granted, I'm still trying to figure this out. But it's a process and apparently it's a 'mental block' so it could take a while. However, I'm unopposed to trying because hey, it has to get 'easier' eventually right? So I'm trying to find some ways to make it easier, so you're not always asking questions that people look at you funny.
1. Take a deep breath.
It's stupid, sure. But the moment you stop staring the problem down so hard, you can learn to see the entire picture and that's what you need to be doing. This allows you to slow down and look over your progress, go through it step by step, and make sure the next step you are working on will correlate.
2. Gauge what you know
Things get harder because you get more confused. I feel like I am constantly getting entangled in a sticky web and I sort of just fall over and flop like a washed up fish on shore. It is not fun and sometimes people laugh because why would a fish voluntarily go on shore to die? Why would I voluntarily entangle myself in something sticky that I don't like? Well, it's because I was confused.
3. The little things
I love poetry. But guess what? Sometimes a blue windowsill is just a blue windowsill and not the symbol of lost love. It's just a color that looked good at the time. And that's the same with some little things. Chill out and know how little it is. I freak out at my jobs because we don't have enough soda for a day, or I didn't get something mailed out in the morning like I was supposed to. Stay calm and like I said, take a deep breath and try to look at the big picture.
4. Consider any mistakes and excuses
"Excuses, excuses, excuses!" If you spend time in my family, you will hear my dad say it without a doubt. No excuse is good enough for him. Because if you look up the definition for excuse, it's not exactly a good thing. It's not the same as reason. Often I stumble because I've made some silly excuse that has led me off an angle of the path and eventually twist really, really far away from the path I was trying to stick to.
5. Think Ahead
Try to look over the possible outcomes at whatever standstill you are at. Like I said, it's probably small and guess what? People won't die if there's no Diet Coke at the moment and hey, the mail will eventually be sent out. You will (most likely) not die nor cause the death of anyone else. Just putting that out there. So choose two main paths, and consider them carefully and then try going forward.
That's really all I can say. It's a process that is going slowly for me. I have to retrace my steps often, I still ask for help, and I still make some choices that are wrong. It happens. But the important thing is to learn from it.
Eventually you get the hang of things. You know, life. It's what they call wisdom and if you're lucky, you'll have some to pass onto your grandkids. And hopefully they listen to you...
Anyways, best of luck to you!
Several names (or diagnoses) that can be tricky to live whether its voluntary or not. Things are tricky and you suddenly realize that people are giving you looks and whispering behind your backs- or even thumping you on the back for a job well done if you're lucky.
As for me?
I don't know if it was the last school year, but I received this several times:
"You're making this harder than it needs to be."
I don't know about you, but that is NOT something I want to be hearing! But nonetheless, I was told this at least 5 times in this year alone. And that is so, so far from comforting.
Granted, I'm still trying to figure this out. But it's a process and apparently it's a 'mental block' so it could take a while. However, I'm unopposed to trying because hey, it has to get 'easier' eventually right? So I'm trying to find some ways to make it easier, so you're not always asking questions that people look at you funny.
1. Take a deep breath.
It's stupid, sure. But the moment you stop staring the problem down so hard, you can learn to see the entire picture and that's what you need to be doing. This allows you to slow down and look over your progress, go through it step by step, and make sure the next step you are working on will correlate.
2. Gauge what you know
Things get harder because you get more confused. I feel like I am constantly getting entangled in a sticky web and I sort of just fall over and flop like a washed up fish on shore. It is not fun and sometimes people laugh because why would a fish voluntarily go on shore to die? Why would I voluntarily entangle myself in something sticky that I don't like? Well, it's because I was confused.
3. The little things
I love poetry. But guess what? Sometimes a blue windowsill is just a blue windowsill and not the symbol of lost love. It's just a color that looked good at the time. And that's the same with some little things. Chill out and know how little it is. I freak out at my jobs because we don't have enough soda for a day, or I didn't get something mailed out in the morning like I was supposed to. Stay calm and like I said, take a deep breath and try to look at the big picture.
4. Consider any mistakes and excuses
"Excuses, excuses, excuses!" If you spend time in my family, you will hear my dad say it without a doubt. No excuse is good enough for him. Because if you look up the definition for excuse, it's not exactly a good thing. It's not the same as reason. Often I stumble because I've made some silly excuse that has led me off an angle of the path and eventually twist really, really far away from the path I was trying to stick to.
5. Think Ahead
Try to look over the possible outcomes at whatever standstill you are at. Like I said, it's probably small and guess what? People won't die if there's no Diet Coke at the moment and hey, the mail will eventually be sent out. You will (most likely) not die nor cause the death of anyone else. Just putting that out there. So choose two main paths, and consider them carefully and then try going forward.
That's really all I can say. It's a process that is going slowly for me. I have to retrace my steps often, I still ask for help, and I still make some choices that are wrong. It happens. But the important thing is to learn from it.
Eventually you get the hang of things. You know, life. It's what they call wisdom and if you're lucky, you'll have some to pass onto your grandkids. And hopefully they listen to you...
Anyways, best of luck to you!
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